Five Ways
by Elly m
Summary: There are so many different ways in which Viola could have been found out. Here are five of them.


I first watched STM on a transatlantic flight in a 36 hour period in which I didn't sleep so I became just the tiniest bit obsessed. This is just a little something that's been buzzing around my head since then.

One shot.

Five other ways Duke Orsino discovered his roommate's gender:

**TAKE ONE**

Viola was in heaven. After tossing and turning for hours Duke had finally fallen asleep, allowing her to sneak along to the showers and strip off her clothes, finally washing the stale scent from her body and the grease from her hair.

In room 234 Windsor Hall Duke Orsino sat up gasping and chilled from the nightmare which had consumed him. To his surprise Sebastian was missing, but he assumed the other boy had also been unable to sleep. He stumbled along to the bathrooms in a haze of sleep and, to his surprise, heard the sound of running water.

Viola, meanwhile, was so engrossed in her shower that she didn't hear the footsteps on the room's tiled floor.

Thinking one of the other boys had left the shower running, Duke peered around the shower wall.

As her roommate's yell split the night Viola Hastings screamed and grabbed for her towel. Duke instantly screwed his eyes tight shut and wondered why the hell a girl was showering here. As he opened his eyes again he stared in horror at the suddenly recognisable girl.

"Sebastian?" he croaked.

**TAKE TWO**

"What? What's that?" Duke asked, a tinge of uncertainty entering his voice. "It touched me! It touched me!" he shrieked as the two leapt onto the nearest bed.

"It's Malcolm's tarantula! Get it! Malcolm's tarantula! Get it!" screamed Viola, forgetting for the moment that she was supposed to be a guy.

"You get it!" her roommate replied.

Viola retaliated with "You're the guy!" A mistake, as it turned out.

In confusion Duke turned to her. "What do you mean _I'm the guy?_" he asked.

"Um, I mean you're um, bigger than me. The-that's it, you're the bigger guy."

"You sounded awfully like a girl when you where screaming you know."

"So did you!" retorted Viola

"But you still sound like a girl" exclaimed Duke "just what the hell is going on here, Sebastian, if that's really who you are."

"Of course I'm Sebastian," Viola responded, trying desperately to sound deep and manly.

Duke reached up and tugged on the untidy mop of hair which, unbeknownst to Viola, had become somewhat squint while they where attempting to escape their arachnid attacker. It came away leaving Duke facing 'Sebiola', a mix of both twins. Viola sighed and pulled out the hairclips and removed the side burns.

"Sorry Duke…"

**TAKE THREE**

♪ I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie woo-oorld. ♪

Duke groaned as his roommate's ridiculous ring tone cut through the relative quiet of the dorm. Reaching for it he noticed that the caller ID flashed up 'Sebastian.' That, he decided, was odd but hey, there was no law against having the same name as your friends.

"Hello, Sebastian's phone."

"What do you mean, 'Sebastian's phone'?" the male voice on the other end demanded. "That phone belongs to my sister, Viola. **I'm** Sebastian."

Meanwhile, Viola Hastings, returning from an evening run, entered her dorm, just in time to hear her friend ask, bewildered, "What do you mean you're Sebastian. Sebastian Hastings is my roommate. And I know Viola as well."

In growing confusion the true Sebastian Hastings, by now getting some rather odd looks from his band mates, asked "Well, where's this person who claims to be me then? I want to talk to her."

"Her?"

"Yes" snapped Sebastian, "her. I rather think it's my sister."

"Your sister?" echoed Duke.

Hearing this Viola stepped fully into the room. Removing the phone from Duke's unresisting hand she spoke quickly to her brother. "Sorry Sebastian, but I think Duke deserves an explanation. I'll call you later." And she quickly hung up on him, turning her phone off as she did so.

"Duke," she began in her normal voice as she pulled off her wig and removed her sideburns, "I'm really really sorry, but I just wanted so **badly** to prove that I was as good at soccer as the guys…"

**TAKE 4**

"Hey Monique, it's Sebastian. I don't know if Vi told you but I'm in London. Anyway, I'm going to be home in a few days and, well, I think we need to talk."…beep.

"Viola!"

-----

Monique stormed up the hallways of Windsor Hall screaming her (ex) boyfriends name at the top of her lungs, recoiling in horror as a nerdy looking boy exited his room instead.

He smiled brightly at her and she drew closer as he explained what he had discovered and what he planned to do about it.

------

Principal Gold took a deep breath. "Are you sure about this?" he asked the two teens sitting across his desk.

"Yes sir! We are!" they replied in chorus, sickening grins threatening to split their faces as they considered the trouble lying in store for their common enemy.

Meanwhile, on the soccer pitch the ball raced towards the goals, 'Sebastian' Hastings and Duke Orsino nimbly passing the ball between them as they sprinted towards what looked to be the game's first goal, just as the first half drew to a close. As the crowd rose in a cheer for Viola's excellent header, Illyria's principal stormed onto the pitch closely followed by Malcolm and Monique .

"Is there a problem, principal?" asked coach as the teams drew round, all confused except for Viola who drew nearer feeling sick with fear.

"Yes, unfortunately, there is." replied Principal Gold "But I think it only right that Sebastian Hastings tell you himself. Sebastian? Son? Or… Do you have anything you'd like to say?"

"Um…" Desperately Viola pretended to rack her brains, hoping against hope that Monique's presence didn't mean what she thought it meant, that this sudden questioning didn't mean she had been discovered.

Well then, please know that what I say…I say with a heavy heart.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, esteemed alumni, family and friends of Sebastian Hastings, I am grievously sad to inform you that Sebastian Hastings is…a girl."

Viola's heart sank as laughter rose from the stands and her team-mates rolled their eyes.

"I'm sorry, it's for your own good, you'll thank me for it some day" the principal said more quietly to Viola, who had screwed her eyes shut.

Gradually the laughter died away as the crowd, and the rest of the team, became aware that no denial was forthcoming. Justin Draeton stepped towards her in horror, remembering that Sebastian detested soccer, suddenly looking really closely at her face.

"Viola?" he asked.

**TAKE 5 – as it should have been**

The noise of the crowd rose and fell around her as she raced up the field but Viola took no notice. This was it. The final minute of the Illyria-Cornwall game, the score tied at two all and she, Viola Hastings, was about to prove that girls really could play as well as boys. Reaching the goals she booted the ball in as hard as possible and Justin leapt for it. Time seemed to slow, but then he missed the ball and he was falling and the ball had hit the back of the net. Then the whistle blew and the Illyria crowd rose, cheering, coming to the realisation that they had won!

Her teamates surrounded her, yelling congratulations and slapping each others backs. With a sudden, cold chill of dread Viola remembered what she had to do. Taking a deep breath she called to the Cornwall boys who were mooching off the field. Trying to ignore the growing feeling that she was going to lose the guy she loved over this Viola said quietly, pulling off her disguise.

"Sorry guys, but I did tell you that girls can play soccer…"


End file.
